10 Things I Learned From Having Boys

My Family, Parenting , , , , , ,

When the ultrasound tech told me that I was having my third baby boy in a row I told him to shut up. I literally shouted it! “Shut up, Shut Up! No way, shut up!”

I had a perfect batting average on guessing my baby’s sex. Even when they told me by first baby boy was a girl, I knew they were wrong. Why would this time be any different? Mother’s intuition, right? I admit, the thought of ANOTHER boy had me a bit disappointed.

I didn’t know what a household, full of boys; would bring. I started to think about being put into the poor house during their teenage years due to the crazy amount of food they would eat. The imminent stench that for sure would ensue, and the mass amounts of laundry I would be doing. I knew that there would be lots of rough housing, dirt, bloody noses and anger management skills that needed to be taught but what I didn’t expect were all of these pleasant surprises.

1. They Are Affectionate
I never could have imagined that I would be showered with kisses and “I love you’s” on a daily basis. Affection is not in short supply around here. I have learned more compassion from these rough and tumble creatures then I knew was possible.

2.Teaching manners is good, but so is having a sense of humor
I used to be disgusted with flatulence, belching, boogers and poop. While I still find them gross, now I laugh so hard that I can’t breath, give a congratulatory “That’s a good one!”; then politely instruct them to dispose of the specimen.

3.They can read your emotions like a book:
My boys are the first to offer to help me, see when I am upset or hurt and the most eager to please. They can tell when I’m struggling with something and without saying anything will come up to me, give me a sweet kiss on my arm and say “I love you Mama”. While men get a bad reputation for not being emotional, my boys have taught me that it exactly the opposite. They pick up on it so much that it hurts them to know when someone else hurts.

4.Loving on babies, isn’t just for girl:
I thought my daughters would be baby loving little girls like myself. Instead my boys fight over the chance to see or snuggle a baby. Many tears have been shed at a missed opportunity. They are the most gentle and adoring gender out of all of my 6 kids.

5.They are sensitive
Along the lines of being able to read other’s emotions, they feel deeply. I see the look in their face when they realize that I’m disappointed. I’ve watched the tears well up in their eyes when a friend excludes them, and I have watched my 18 month only cry trying to tell me what happened, only stopping when he heard me empathize with him instead of just holding him. He didn’t have the words but he understood when I told him that I knew why he was upset. A lot of times, they just want to be heard.

6.My husband is still a boy
When I’m able to remember that my husband is still of the male gender and see him in a loving light, like I do with my boys; I’m able to have more patience for him. I’m able to realize how painful my disappointment or pain can be to him. It makes me reconsider what really is worth getting upset about. I think harder about how I will react, more about how I speak to him.

7.They Smell
Even at an early age. The second they sweat, they smell like a dirty dog. As they get older, it gets even more pungent. Boy stench is not for the faint of heart. Keep the Febreeze handy and the showers frequent. But not too long, that’s a whole other story.

8.The Potty Talk!
I never thought I would hear the words fart and poop so many times in my life. It’s a fascination I will never understand but I give them ten points for creativity. They can take anything and turn it into something to do with a bodily function for hours of laughter.

9.Some stereotypes are true
While they are sensitive,most of the stereotypes about boys are true. They may pick up a baby doll if they see that example of caring for a baby but don’t be surprised if at nine months old, picks up a car and starts making motor sounds. I have given my boys the option and they do have favorites. Cars, trucks, tools and bugs are the toys of choice in our home.

10.How I raise them will either hurt or help Their future relationships:
Opening car doors, picking up the check, or not raising your voice are all fine and dandy. However, teaching my boys things like vulnerability and that being tough doesn’t define your manliness, are important. I embrace their love of babies and let them pretend to bounce a doll to sleep. Why? Because they are capable of caring for children, just as much as their spouse is. Not only do I teach them to adore and respect their father but I refuse to martyr myself. They are encouraged to appreciate everyone, regardless of their gender. I want all of my children to accept themselves and everyone else, for who they are; not who they are “supposed” to be.

The bond between my boys and I, is so different from my girls. It is not better or worse but so incredibly different. I have a vast range or ages within my brood. My oldest is an adult with thoughts of marriage on the Horizon. And although I know eventually things will change, I’m soaking it all up; enjoying every moment and basking in being the only woman in their lives. Eventually I will take a back seat but I’m hoping to play my cards right and instead of losing my boys, add more daughters to my clan. The more the merrier!