The Surprising Gift of Sorrow


Yesterday, I lost someone dear to me. It was an accident and I have no blame or anger toward the person driving the vehicle.

Yesterday, I also received a gift, for which I am grateful. The gift of remorse.
While searching for forgiveness, in our grief we often find blame, anger and resentment. A lot of the time logic doesn’t take over. It is easier to focus on the what could have been‘s and who’s to blames. Often times the person who caused the pain is the same person who can help the healing. If a person is not remorseful, it is harder to find peace and forgiveness. While a sign of sorrow can do the opposite.
A simple thing like remorse, makes it so much easier to process things, find peace and eventually happiness again. It says “I want to take away your pain.” And “Your feelings matter to me”. Remorse from someone who caused you pain is an amazing gift. Sometimes taking responsibility is required or in other cases when things happen from pure accident, just having empathy, heals.

Death is not the only form, in which remorse can be a blessing. It is so much easier to forgive someone who has wronged you, hurt you, or betrayed you, if there is remorse. It is possible to forgive without remorse but it is far more difficult. With an acknowledgement that there was pain cause at your hand, the gift of remorse is given. It makes healing so much easier, when you know there is accountability being taken.
It is so easy to not assume responsibility or to blame the circumstances, in order to save our pride. It is an act of vulnerability and humility to show remorse. It is often difficult to do but it truly heals the broken.

Remorse is a gift. I am grateful for this gift.



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